My childhood expectations were to have a nice home, a family, and to write a book someday. Two out of three have come true. Too bad I never realized that my dolls didn't cry or wet themselves, or worse. They didn't need to be supervised 24 hours a day, and when I laid them down for a nap, their eyes rolled back in their heads, and they were off to sleep. They didn't tug at their clothes or refuse to do something I asked.
I've been through all that. My first child is a beautiful, petite little girl. I loved watching her play with her dolls and horses and Lego's. I guess the love of pretending was still alive and well in me. This little girl is now twenty four, and in her seventh day of army bootcamp. NEVER, did I say, NEVER did I think my little baby who brought so much joy, and a lot of butting heads, would be in the military during times of war. However, this is what she chose to do, and I am proud of her, and worry at the same time.
With so much violence on the streets of our cities, I don't know where she'll be more safe. Then, we have her younger brother who is twenty two, in the air force. I have to repeat that I NEVER, EVER imagined he'd go into the military, especially now. However, I am also very proud of him, and he is getting an education that will help him find a decent job when he gets out. He only has seven more years to go! If I could kiss Bill Gates, I would. E mail keeps us in touch. I can now see pictures of Germany that I would never see in person.
Life definitely goes in stages. There's so much to do when kids are little. A lot of labor goes into keeping those little tykes happy and safe. Now, I don't have to say, "Stop running down the stairs" ten times a day. But I want to. I don't have to answer, "What is there to eat?" But I want to. I don't hear my favorite word, "Mom?" when they aren't any towels. But I want to. Now, the closet is full, and I'd give anything for them to be needing those towels. There is a small bottle of shampoo and conditioner, for guests, but I don't hear, "Mom, could you get me some axe?" But I want to.
Our home was the hang out spot, and all three kids always had friends over on the weekends. I talked to each and every one, from the time they were fourteen or so, and they liked me, much to my children's chagrin. But I wanted to get to know the personalities of the friends my kids hung out with, and all but one turned out to be great kids. On those "Get together" nights, the doorbell rang incessantly, driving me crazy, now, I miss that melody telling me someone is here for one of my kids. Since they've left, it hasn't rung yet.
We have a dock on a lake, and that's where they all headed for a time, and now, the dock is a big square patch of wood sitting on the water. Everything is the same, and everything is different. Kids move on. I guess I blocked that out of my mind for 20 years. I was in a bubble of being a mother and homemaker for so long, I guess I thought things would stay the same? Or, maybe I just didn't have time to think at all. I enjoyed what I was doing, so I forgot that my children would someday leave the roost. But the military during these times?
There are no questions anymore, just statements.
"Mom, I'm going into the air force.
"Mom, I'm going into the army."
" I'm getting a tattoo across my chest!" And my youngest son, "Mom, I'm going four and a half hours away to live with dad."
We never know what's going to happen in our lives. As we raise our families, we enjoy all there is, and wake up one morning to the three children that were your life, your heart, your soul, gone is my daughter in the middle of 100 sit-ups right now?
Is my son working on the newest jet we have right now?
Is my youngest trying to figure out what to do with this life?
And I thought natural childbirth was going to be the hardest part of having kids! Ha!
I had control for many years, and now, they must control themselves. Did I teach them correctly? Are they being respectful? Are they watching themselves when they can leave the base? A lot has gone wrong in my life, but my children are not part of the negative things I've had to deal with. They are the best additions to my life expectations. And I hope they always do their best, and enjoy what they're doing, whatever it is. (almost)
Well Susan, I can see I'm not the only one who can't sleep tonight. I've had it I'm going to call my doctor this morning and tell him I want off this new medication he put me on.
When your children leave the nest it is bittersweet. You are happy that you have reared them well and they don't ask a lot of questions, anymore, but sometimes you just want to be a Mom and wish they would ask questions again. I am going through the same thing. It is not easy to be a "sidelines" mom and just watch. Good article.
it is very difficut to go from a family of 5, to that of 2, in a short period of time. i can't watch because my son is in the air force, daughter in the army, son with his father. and life goes on.
i should have used something stronger to build their nest :)
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