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Have you ever found yourself being in love with a particular
man or woman who doesn't seem to even notice you? You go home and fantasize about him or her
being in your life, talking to you, being here in bed with you and the list
goes on. Then the next day you go out
and see that person again only to get a jolt in your stomach; you try to catch
her glance at you only to look away as soon as that happens. You know she is unavailable and you don't
want to take your chances. Or perhaps
you already took your chances and it didn't work out to your advantage. The answer was "no", it may not have been
direct enough for you, but what you heard was "not now." Time goes by and this
person is still in your head but not in your life.
Fantasy addiction is bitter sweet, it makes you feel good at
first but if you won't let go of your fantasy, it will turn into longing that
will eat you up like a parasite. Letting
go of a fantasy is not the same as giving up on a dream. There is a good reason why we dream and
fantasize about the things we want to have.
Having visions about what your heart desires is a first step to making
it happen. However, lingering to those
visions can only delay them from being manifested. And that's exactly what fantasy addiction is,
lingering and earning. Eventually your
dream will turn into a painful empty feeling of an unmet need that will prompt
to do something about it and soon. Get
your needs met or make them go away.
Since you can't meet your needs at this time, you're only left with the
other alternative. Ironically, the
quickest way to numb those needs for now is to fantasize more. Now you got yourself into a vicious circle.
Interestingly enough, fantasy addiction happens because at
some point we have given up on a bigger dream.
Hard to believe, isn't it? Think
about it though; remember the time before you met this person. How did you feel or think about falling in
love back then? Did you believe you
couldn't? Were you convinced that no one
will fall for you? Were you telling
yourself things like "love is for anybody but not for me" or "love will only
get you hurt so why bother?" And then
suddenly, out of the blue you meet this mysterious person who gives you
butterflies in your stomach and everything you used to believe about love that
was negative and discouraging, all the things you did not want to believe in
the first place – are not true! Halleluiah! Now this mystery man or mystery woman is the
answer. He or she is your
proof that you CAN fall in love again.
It is great that you feel this way now, but there is a trap. If for some reason your mystery man isn't into
you as much as you are into him, all the negative self-talk you were giving
yourself before he came along becomes true again.
Of course, there is a very good reason why this keeps
happening. All the negative self-talk
about love bringing pain and heartache, fantasy about unavailable person,
unwillingness to take risks are serving you one big purpose – to protect you against
this pain you believe love will bring you.
Only the truth is that love never brings you pain, it's your thoughts
and your beliefs that do. |
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