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Home » Categories » Society » Religion and Spirituality » Jesus Christ Farted Too » Reprint Rights » Printer Friendly

Jesus Christ Farted Too

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Submitted Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Zeph Agayo (193)


I once had a very interesting conversation with one of my brothers:

"Chekhov," I called.

"Yeah?" my brother replied.

"I have a question for you. Do you think Christ entered the toilet regularly just like everyone else?" I asked.

"Of course, He did," was his answer. He answered me as if I asked him that question the hundredth time but I know that it was his first time to give thought to questions as such.

I continued, "Christ often traveled and passed through mountains and valleys . Do you think there were times that Christ was somewhere on a mountain and He felt that He needed to urinate or defecate? Do you think Christ urinated or defecated on some mountain?"

He thought for a moment and then said, "Yes, I believe so." My father, who was listening to our conversation, snickered each time I asked such questions.

I asked my brother further, "If Christ defecated somewhere on a mountain, how do you think did He manage the process?"

He thought for a second and said, "I don't know." To compensate for his not knowing, he gave me a short "lecture" about Jewish sanitation systems and why the Jews were not affected by the Bubonic Plague which affected all of Europe.

After he finished, I asked more rhetorical questions . "Do you think Christ used some sort of tissue paper whenever He was in the toilet or whenever He defecated somewhere else? Are you familiar with the toiletries that people used by that time?" He said that of course, Christ didn't use tissue paper because it wasn't invented yet and then he said that he is not familiar with the toiletries that the Jews used. I confessed that neither do I.

I thought I asked enough questions about Christ and how He managed His elimination so I asked a question about a slightly different matter. I asked him, "Do you think Christ farted just like everyone else?"

"Yes, He did," was his hesitant reply.

"Do you think Christ farted in front of His disciples?" I asked.

"I don't think so. I think He distanced Himself from His disciples whenever He felt like farting," he doubtfully answered. I assumed that he meant Christ knew how to be polite as He is the author of it.

I then asked, "How do you think would Christ react if He saw a curvaceous naked young woman?" My father who snickered at my questions, didn't snicker at this question and expressed ideas which are different when compared to my brother's, so, I didn't delve into this question, nevertheless, I'm sure that Christ had hormones just like everyone else... which means...

Anyway, I asked the following questions too which made my father snicker more: Do you think Christ experienced sneezing? If He did, how often? Do you think Christ burped or belched after enjoying a meal? Do you think Christ experienced yawning, yawping, or gaping as a result of tiredness, drowsiness or sleepiness? Who washed His clothes? Did He wash His clothes or did someone else do the washing for him? How often and how long do you think He took a bath? Do you think He used some sort of soap? Where did He do his bathing? How did He do it? Did He often scrub Himself? If He did, did He use His hands or some sort of a scrubber? Did He ever pick His nose? If He did, did He do it in public?

As a side note, Christ Himself spoke of the elimination process (Mat. 15:17; Mark 7:19) and of "eating and drinking" (Mat. 11:19; Lk. 7:34).

I can think of more questions regarding Christ's life "in the flesh" but I think I asked my brother enough rhetorical questions to make my point. I asked such questions because I want Christ, His words and especially the following passage to be real to him: "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth (Jn 1:14)."

When it comes to size, men are nothing but imperceptible specks of dust compared to the planet. Compared to the Milky Way galaxy where earth is located, the earth is nothing but an imperceptible particle. Compared to the universe, the Milky Way galaxy is an absolutely imperceptible nano-particle. Being an infinitesimal speck of dust myself, I can't make an understandable comparison of the size of an atom to the size of the universe . I can only wonder how the Word who was with God in the beginning-the Word who is also God through whom the universe was made (John 1)-the Son of God -the Lord of Lords and King of Kings- Jesus Christ , was made an imperceptibly infinitesimal speck of dust and dwelt among infinitesimal specks of dust (if I may put it that way)!

King David said: "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels , and You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen-even the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea that pass through the paths of the seas (Ps. 8:3-8)."

Apostle Paul wrote to the Hebrews : "But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffering of death crowned with glory and honor, that He, by the grace of God , might taste death for everyone (Heb. 2:9)."

"Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage (Heb. 2:14-15)."

"Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted (Heb. 2:17-18)."

Unlike Christ, we commit a lot of sins, nonetheless, like Him, at least, we also felt hunger and enjoyed fine food; we also felt thirst and enjoyed refreshing drinks; we also experienced weariness and regained our strength and so on and so forth. Apostle Paul wrote to the Hebrews: "Seeing that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin (Heb. 4:14-15)."

Because the Word through whom all things were made was "made flesh," flesh perceived Him as nothing but flesh as apostle John said: "He [Christ] was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own [the Jews], and His own did not receive Him."



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» left by Marijo Phelps (2,893)
Marijo Phelps
(22 days 11 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Our Lord was tempted in all ways just as we are and He did not sin, unlike us - if he had he couldn't have paid the price for your redemption or mine because he would have been under the same penalty of death that we all are. Well written and some very good points made. Welcome to Searchwarp! Marijo (pronounced Mary Jo - dad got creative with the spelling)

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (21 days 3 hours ago.)
I appreciate your comments.

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (21 days 2 hours ago.)
Thank you for your commendation and words of appreciation. It's nice to know that Jesus is becoming, or became, real to people who profess that they belong to Christ (Christians).

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» left by Mich Valmonte (0) (21 days 7 hours ago.)
Welcome to search warp.. nice article...

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (21 days 3 hours ago.)
Thank you!

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» left by Mich Valmonte (0) (21 days 7 hours ago.)
Welcome to search warp.. nice article...

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (21 days 3 hours ago.)
Thank you!

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» left by Anonymous (21 days 2 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Thank you for sharing this article.
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» left by Mark Parsec (16,508)
Mark Parsec
(20 days 23 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Hi Zeph,
 
I very much enjoyed your down to earth and REAL exploration of the nature of Christ the man -vs- Christ the LORD, the express image of the Father.
 
Great article! I hope to see more like this one.
 
God bless you,
 
Mark Parsec

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (17 days ago.)
I'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your commendation. I'll try to make
 
more articles such as this one.

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» left by Josh Matnik (101) (19 days 20 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 4 out of 5
Intersting Article and welcome

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (17 days ago.)
Thank you!

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» left by Fran Larson (38,388)
Fran Larson
(19 days 4 hours ago.)

Welcome to Search Warp

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» left by Zeph Agayo (60) (17 days ago.)
Thank you!

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Article added to SearchWarp.com on 10/27/2009 10:05:06 PM.
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