When it comes to being a black man and dating every man thinks they are a catch. As you know every fish that a fisherman catches he doesn't keep some he will throw back. Well, how can I become the catch that the ladies want and not the one they throw back? By the way men my definition of ladies is not women you just want to sleep with and forget about them. I am talking about developing something real and long lasting.
The first thing you need to do is educate yourself. Studies show that in the African American community more women are attending and finishing college than there male counterparts. What does this mean? If you are not educated you are going to be left behind. Just by the nature of having more education women are being exposed to more opportunities, making more money and meeting people at higher social and economic levels. Once you have walked in those circles, the Johnny come lately on the street corner whistling at her when she walks by is not so attractive anymore. Being a black man and dating is not just about good physical appearance, your mind has to be in top shape as well.
As a black man you need to educate yourself to keep up with the changing times. I am not saying that you have to get a college degree, but if you don't make sure you get a skill that gets a job where you can support yourself and your family comfortably. It's not about whether your woman makes more money than you because that's not important, but it's about holding up your end of the bargain and bringing your fair share to the table.
Education doesn't just mean book knowledge either. Expand your cultural and social knowledge as well. Read more books. Go to museums, art shows and plays. Learn about fine wines, travel and great music. Show a woman you know more than hip-hop and R & B culture or what's on the sports pages. You don't have to leave that stuff behind but just let them know there is more to you than that.
You also have to learn how to take care of yourself. We live in a different age than 50 years ago. Back then women were for the most part the homemakers so they did all of the cooking and the cleaning. Today black women are professionals and working just as much if not more than men. You need to learn to do things around the house. Learn how to wash clothes, cook, clean, change diapers. Don't think this is just for the women anymore because the truth is it's not. A man who can take care of a house is a very attractive man. If you don't believe me ask your mom, sister or any female friend.
Finally men take an interest in some things she likes. You don't have to love everything she loves but being a black man and dating in this society may mean going to a chick flick or spending all day at the mall every now and then. Black women are looking for men who are not selfish but who care about who they are as a person. They want a man, who will encourage them to continue to grow and develop in all areas of their life. Listen men, if you become that kind of man not only will the ladies line up to catch you but they won't want to throw you back.
John Arnold is a staff writer for Black Dating For Free. BlackDatingForFree.com is a Free Black dating service for African American singles. The site features the fastest growing database of Black singles online and is and always will be 100% free of charge.
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