Like breathing, communication is a vital part of our lives. It's something we often take for granted and don't give much conscious thought too. It's only when we can't breathe or our respiratory system breaks down that we have any cause for alarm. Comparatively, just as there are certain symptoms we can watch for to assess whether or not we're having a heart attack there are specific "conversation killers" you can be alert to that will put a stranglehold on any good conversation.
For the purposes of this article I have classified these "conversation killers" into five different fictional personalities. As you read through them, see if you can think of someone you know who fits into each of these personalities.
The first personality is the hog'. This individual is perhaps the easiest to spot. They simply talk too much. They ramble on and on without giving anyone else a turn to speak. Inevitably, the hog' frustrates everyone else to the point where people eventually tune him/her out.
Another "conversation killer" is the person I like to call the hijacker'. This individual can be identified by the following example. You say to the individual, "I had supper at a really great restaurant the other night", and the hijacker' responds "Oh I had dinner at a great new place I have to tell you about". So the hijacker' will not only hijack your topic but will also divert the focus to his or her self.
But these aren't the only conversation killers you might run across. A third type is the fixer'. This is the individual who wants to give free unsolicited advice to you every opportunity they get. These are the professional know-it-alls and are easily recognized by their heavy use of phrases like "Why don't you.?" or "Have you tried..?"
And similar to the fixer' is the bully'. The bully' is characterized by their interrupting behavior. They try to butt-in to the conversation before you have a chance to finish your thought. The bully' is like my four year old daughter who hasn't yet mastered when it's her turn to jump into the conversation. Only the bully' knows better.
Finally, another conversation killer you may encounter is the contrarian'. Typically the contrarian' likes to contradict everything and anything discussed in conversation. Their favorite phrase is "Yes, but", and in the contrarians' mind he/she is always right.
In closing, if you find yourself engaged in a conversation with someone that leaves you feeling frustrated or annoyed ask yourself, "Why?" Take a minute and mentally go through the list of conversation killers. There's a good chance you've just had an encounter with a hog, hijacker, fixer, bully or contrarian. And Lord help you if they're all five!
Greg Smith is a police officer, father, husband, educator, writer, speaker and student of life. Some of his previous works have been featured in Readers Digest, Blue Line, Legion Canada, and Our Canada magazines. He also writes a monthly column for his local newspaper on speaking and communication. Visit Greg's blog at: http://copservations.com
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
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