Nine Lessons Learned In Parenting

My first born turns nine today. I remember the moment he was born like it was yesterday. He was so tiny and helpless at five pounds and 14 ounces.

I still remember that scared feeling the moment we held him. When your first born is  born you have this instant realization, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" or in other words, "What the heck were we thinking? We will never have sex again as long as I live!"

o.k. the last is a little dramatic and it could have been the pain or lack of epidural talking. However, you realize at that moment that you have this little thing that is completely dependent on you and looking to you to meet all his needs.

With that tone and in honor of my firstborn's ninth birthday, I thought I would share the nine lessons that we learned the hard way.

Babies/Kids are tougher then they look.
As a parent you want to protect them from everything. You are sterilizing everything, terrified to let others hold him, freak out at the tiniest slip and fall, etc. You can't break them. Trust me-if you could there would be no kids in the world. By the second kid, you will just pop the binkie in with a wipe of the shirt, believe me. Also, emotionally they are a lot stronger then their parents. That kid that hurt their feelings when they stepped in school the first time hurts you the parent more then the child was ever hurt. Believe me, a week will pass and he will forget the child who did it. Nine years later, you will still know their name.

Ignore the advice
Here is the deal. You are the parent. Step up to that role. Don't let anyone tell you how to parent your child. You have to find that position and who you are going to be as a parent by yourself. It is who you are and you are the person God designed for that position.

Your child is a genius
Being the only child, yes your child is a genius in your eyes. Parents usually take two paths with this. One they are so humble that they really do their kid and injustice or they brag so much that their child becomes the most hated child. Take the middle road. Never be ashamed of the great things your kid does!

Remember each other
As parents sometimes it is real easy to just focus on your child. When we had our little man, we both worked. We would come home and spend the night playing with him. We never thought about one another and it tore our marriage apart. Your partner is more important than your child. As hard and absurd as it sounds, trust me that it is the most important part of being a parent.

Focus on God
The only advice you should take in parenting is from God. I realize I turned a ton away with that sentence, but I can honestly say that our family would be broke in pieces without the love, grace and wisdom that God provides to us daily. My children are a blessing from God which he shares with me each day! God does love us so!

You know best
When it comes to sickness, education, etc., realize that you know what is best for your child. Do not let a doctor or teacher convince you otherwise.

You are your child's advocate
This is probably the lesson we have learned the most this season of our life. Sometimes, you are going to have to be the one that fights for your child. It is ok. That is why you are the parent.

It goes by fast
I know you hear this saying all the time from those older folks. Know it is true. I blinked my eyes and I am here with a nine year old. It does go fast so make sure you maximize every moment of every second. Trying to decide if you should work or be home, know that this time in your child's life will only last a second and you will never get this age back. Don't die with regrets that you were too busy trying to make money for him instead of just loving him and being there for him.

Watch what you model
My son would hate me telling this story, but it is how we learned this lesson. When my son was about to start kindergarten, I was teaching VBS alongside some high school student helpers. During the week at one point in time, my son pinched one of the high school girls on the bottom. When confronted, he was in tears crying because he never knew that was a bad thing. I still remember him saying how "daddy does it all the time to you." Kids pick up on everything! Check out this moving video that brings me to tears every time.



Happy Birthday to an amazing kid! I have truly been blessed every single day!