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I wear the same old pair of jeans three to four times a week. Yeah, so what?
My work desk isn't exactly the tidiest in the world. So what?
I pronounce "daughter" and "water" with a little more weight on "taah". I sure do, so what?
Do I need a new pair of jeans? Who cares? Should I try to tidy up my desk a little bit? When I feel like it. Do I want to get rid of my "accent"? Hell NO! Who doesn't want being told they sound sexy and "exotic" (whatever the "racist" word means).
But of course someone else will tell me I need a new pair jeans, I should tidy up my desk and learn to pronounce words the "right" way. And if I say "so what", then I'm not open to "criticism", I'm rude and worse, I'm a B-word.
The name calling is the least of my concerns. Who cares? My problem is who are you to tell me what it is that I want? What I should believe? How I should stand or sit? What I should wear? What I should and should not say? How I ought to live my life?
What have you done that qualifies you to give me advice on anything? How have you lived that you should tell me how to live? Have you walked in my shoes to know what's like to be me? Do you know what keeps me awake at night? Who told you I aspire to be just like you? What's your success story?
Sounds like the ramblings of a rebellious teen, doesn't it?
It seems that everywhere you turn these days there is someone telling you how to live your life, telling you how you should think about things, telling you the ideologies to believe, telling you which products and services to buy, telling you where to spend more money, showing you where to go and when to go, and so forth.
I personally think that at one time or another we all need a teacher, may be even an advisor or counsellor or consultant. We don't know what we don't know and it always pays to learn from those who've been there and done that.
Oprah has earned the right to talk about "From Rags to Riches" (I still think she should avoid the "weight loss" topic. Her own perfectly worded weight - loss tips don't seem to work for her).
Donald Trump can rightfully talk about "From A Small Businessman to a Successful Multinational Corporation." He has the money and the towers to show for it.
Nelson Mandela brings tears to my eyes when he talks about "The Power of Forgiveness." Who knows betrayal, perseverance and victory better than the old man himself?
The Dalai Lama... that man can sing a song with just the word "peace" repeated over and over and I'd sit there all day mesmerized by his peaceful Self.
Angelina Jolie, well what can I say? She owns "sexy". Even I, the Love Doctor wouldn't mind a piece of that (not the way you think, silly).
I could go on and on not just about famous people but about ordinary everyday men and women who can teach us a thing or two about something that actually adds value to the quality of our lives. But there is a difference between me wanting to learn from someone and even deliberately seeking out the advice and guidance of a particular individual and someone trying to rum their "knowledge" down my throat for whatever reason.
I don't want to be walking down the street and some homeless man suddenly feels inspired to give me advice on how to invest in real estate; a guy that's just filed for bankruptcy telling me how to manage my finances; a junkie talking down to me about self-restraint; someone who hates his salary job telling me how to run my private practice; some "self-help guru" on Prozac telling me the secret to a happy life; a bigot preaching tolerance to me; a doormat telling me how to take criticism; a miser telling me the benefits of being compassionate; a hermit teaching me social skills; a controlling person telling me how to be a good friend; a bald man telling me what shampoo to buy... you get my point.
Do I sound arrogant? May be, but so what? I've been accused of worse things.
Many of us for whatever reason seem to have given up our right to think for ourselves, make our own decisions and manage our own lives. We rely on "instant experts" who talk as if they know everything. And the internet has made it so easy for anyone -- and I mean a-n-y-o-n-e- to Google anything, and next thing you know they sound like the idea came to them in an inspired dream, they studied all night and invented something unoriginal.
If you ask me, the world does not need more instant experts spilling "Magic Secrets" that haven't worked for them - and won't work for anyone. What the world needs is people who get things done!
Next time someone tries to rum their "righteous superiority" down your throat, ask yourself:
1. Is this person telling me how much they know or what I need to know.
2. Is this person just reciting rehearsed facts or sharing something insightful.
3. Does this person have the relevant experience (and possibly a "success story") to support his or her ideas, claims, ramblings, etc.
If still unsure, throw in there a well placed question that digs deeper into whatever the person is saying. See if the person will and is capable of connecting many different ideas, meanings or concepts or if they'll just say "thank you for asking."
If he or she passes the test, then may he or she is genuinely an "expert" on the subject. Even then, be weary of those that talk the talk but don't walk the walk. You shall tell them by their fruit!
I said it. Now I'll go hide and listen to the dogs barking, "Yangki, Be Nice!"
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