Why Jay Leno is Not Funny: My Late Night List Best to Worst

What I'm looking for in a talk show host is one who is certainly funny. But what does that mean? It's subjective, isn't it? Well, yes and no. Funny usually means creative and able to catch the listener off guard with a quick wit. If an audience can see a joke coming from miles away, well, it's certainly not going to surprise and generally why people laugh is that they're surprised. For instance, Rodney Dangerfield's joke: "My wife wants to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wants me to drive." Or one of my jokes: "My wife was complaining about the kids the other day. I told her, "Don't look at me, you let 'em out." The unexpected.

And keep in mind that timing is important too. If Dangerfield instead said, "My wife wants to have sex with me in the backseat of the car. And she's the one who is always telling me that she wants me to drive." Not so funny. It's got to be boom! boom! For instance, in my joke if I had even used "them out" instead of "'em out" the timing is weakened. The funny part, the punch has to come quick and sharp or you lessen the chance of getting a good response never mind a great response from the audience.

Also, the words, their arrangement, brevity, just plain old ability to create a clear picture in the listener's mind is critical. Those who are able to do so the best is the stuff of genius. Early Robin Williams, a case in point: during a live show he's walking out into the audience, rubs up against several people and says, "Ohhhh, human car wash" with affected body movements and goofy face (The best comics are able to create strong images in the listener's mind in a quick-as-possible fashion). In addition, it appears to be improvised, but it's probably a line that's been in his act for a long time. Believe me, most acts of professionals are worked out in detail over years of trial and error. Roseanne Barr once said that it takes two years to come up with a good hour of comedy. About right.

And certainly, if a comic can sum up a truism of life in a witty way that's another way to an audiences' funny bone. Woody Allen: "In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows." Ellen Degeneres: "Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it" (Also, the long, stringing together of words, phrases, or images is another comic's tool. I used to do Soliloquy of a Valley Girl and string together a seemingly endless list of words that always got a good response).

Or if a comic makes fun of himself / herself it's a great way to endure them to the audience. One's likability as a comic is critical to his her success: Again, Woody Allen: "My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker." (Also consider here Allen's look, his cloths, the shrugging shoulders, the self-defacing, shaky voice, etc. It all works together. Just listen to a funny comic's voice some time. The voice alone sounds funny then along with funny stuff . . . whammo! You're getting it.)

And since we all may not be children anymore but can relate because we love practicing being immature, the child joke category is always popular, for who doesn't like to regress on occasion? Ellen Degeneres: "Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away."

In one of my speech classes some 15 years ago when I went back to college to finish off my BA and obtain my MA to teach, I spoke on the anatomy of a joke: Generally it's what I've addressed above but there's also the use of words outside their normal use. Does that make sense? If you want to be funny you say "Beverage" rather than "Drink" because . . . well, it just sounds funny. Adults say beverage and when you're trying to be funny like a kid (comics are the big kids), using adult words is funny. Just listen to your four-year-old and how cute / funny he sounds saying things using your adult words.

And one last thing: confidence in the joke and commitment. Richard Pryor said that if the audience gets a sense that you're intimidated or not in charge, you're dead.

OK, so I've set the stage. But one last thing. Don't forget visuals. Comics can do things with their bodies and face to add to the humor. Think Jerry Lewis: "Hey Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady!" And remember the face that goes with it. OK, the list.

Why is Craig Ferguson at the top? Well, he's a lot more unpredictable and inspired than all the others; he's himself and enjoys not only himself but the audience and it shows with people ready to laugh and laugh hard at almost everything he does or says. He's frequently telling personal stories or anecdotes from his personal life (Remember, the stayers, those with longevity are the ones who are likable. Think Tim Allen). He is creative and zany and doesn't read joke cue-cards like Conan, David, Jimmy, and Jay, something that bores me to tears. Oh, and no band.

His show has an improvised, off-the-cuff feel, even though it's obviously been well rehearsed. He often begins with some zany sketch with hand puppets (alligator and pussy cat lovers who riff on the odd and unpredictable to great laughter) or Craig and other actors singing / dancing about. During his dialogue, he plays with the camera coming from the side or from underneath, advancing upon it like a friend at a party.

When I first stumbled upon Ferguson, I noticed something different. It was the way the audience responded. They were laughing often and hard, but an important point of note is that they are really with him. Each audience not only laughs but they create what is called in the industry "Ripple laughter." This happens when the comedian is so funny he can barely get the audience quiet enough for the next joke, a ripple of uninterrupted laughter.

Conan is good because he's like Ferguson. He thinks funny. He's not just some actor reading cue-cards with little wit or sense of the odd that which he takes with him behind the microphone during interviews. He also writes some interesting, insightful and zany sketches. He's really developed over the years, and after he learned to relax he's really come on.

Letterman used to be my top guy when he first came out. Much more cutting edge than he is now. He's pretty much settled into a cue-card reader who is little inspired when reading jokes or interviewing guests. He's relying too much on his canned responses / attitude and does little that's cutting edge or funny, for that matter. But he can still on occasion be quick on his feet with some original, insightful barbs like no other. I put him near the top not so much for what he is but out of respect for what he was. May he rest in peace.

Stephen Colbert is the relatively new kid on the block who used to work for John Stewart. He is original and quick witted. He also connects well with the audience and comes up with some insightful, interesting, and original political barbs on a regular basis. He's a bit edgy and connects well with the audience. When I was doing standup, I often heard that if you wanted to be successful with a long career you had to be likable. Colbert is certainly that.

Jimmy Kimmel is rather dry and not quite inventive. I sometimes wonder how performers like him never mind get a job in entertainment but build a career. His humor is fairly predictable. You may remember him from The Man Show which was more crass and shock oriented than funny. He's a KROQ alum made good.

Jimmy Fallon and Carson Daily I'll group together because even more so than Kimmel, I just don't understand how they ever made the big time. Of course, Carson Daily is not a comedian, so not being funny is expected. But Fallon always appears to me to be a guy who's practicing to be a professional comic who's never quite made it. An SNL alum, a guy who happened to know the right people at the right time. He certainly lacks the report that a Ferguson or O'brien have with the audience.

I actually think Chelsea Lately is pretty funny. Only problem is that she leans a little too heavily on the crude, take-'em-down-with-crassness Joan Rivers style of humor, a style that is not built to last. She is certainly quick and funny, but just too heavy handed to get off cable.

Wanda Sykes is a Kathy Griffin all-attitude-no-depth-scream comedian. To tell you the truth, I've never listened to her more than just a few minutes. Like Kathy Griffin, I have a tough time getting beyond the I'm-superior-to-everyone attitude long enough to listen.

And finally, Jay.

Why do I put him last? His delivery is forced and he reminds me of that guy at the party who's really into himself and you can see it in his energy, but everyone else just stands around hoping he'll leave soon. Maybe when he was younger as a standup he was funny. Now he's Mr. Melodramatic, over the top type of B-film actor who rarely has anything funny to say at all. Sorry Jay. I just don't get your popularity. If worse comes to worse, I'll turn off the TV before I have to watch you, unless there's some eye candy like Megan Fox on, but then again, I'll just wait until she appears on Conan or Craig's show, thanks.

P.S.

 

Since writing this article, I've stumbled upon some other comedians who have been deemed unfunny. Leno is included. But the others I agree with are The Cable Guy (over rated), Carlos Mencia (just vulgar), Howie Mandel (like Letterman funny at one time, now burned out), Dane Cook (funny when I worked with him in Boston, now fame has drained him), Carrot Top (you can only take prop comedy so far; why most avoid it like the plague), and of course our friend Jay. Check it out.