In life, it is more difficult to make the right choices than to strive for achievements. Amongst the many things in life that we have to choose, inculcating the right thoughts into our mind appears to be most challenging. This is because our thoughts will lead to our actions, and our actions will become our habits and our habits will eventually manifest as our character. Our character will determine our destiny in life.
One who is compassionate and is always thoughtful of others will have a life that will be different from one who is selfish and self-centred. There is a Chinese saying, "Love others and others will love you, respect others and others will respect you". One who is compassionate and thoughtful of others will find his journey in life to be smooth and will have many friends who are ever willing to give him a helping hand when needed. On the other hand, a selfish and self-centred individual will make many wrong decisions based on wrong choices and create animosity and have many enemies in life.
We need to take time and reflect upon ourselves, whether our journey in life is becoming smoother or is becoming more difficult with lots of obstacles. The essence of learning is to know myself first. Once I know what is wrong with me then I will be able to take corrective actions to right my thoughts and habits. We humans are not saints and we do make mistakes in life, but we need to learn from our mistakes and not repeating them.
To be the role model for our children, we need to learn and practice what we have learned. If we practice what we have learned, then without imposing any rules, our children will also mirror us. But if we learned but not practice what we have learned, then it is very difficult to expect our children to do what we asked them to do. Even if they have to do it for fear of our authority, they will be doing it grudgingly, or they will do it in our presence only.
For example, we asked our children to study and do their homework, but we remained glue to the television. Either our children will watch television with us or they will go to the study room reluctantly for fear of punishment. But we can be sure that their minds are still following the television programs. Our children will study when we apply pressure on them but they will not bother when the pressure is released. Instead of watching television, if we, the parents, are able to go to the study room and do our reading and make this as a daily ritual, our children will also follow us and do their homework in the study room without having to be pressured. Reading and doing their homework will become their habits over time and there is no need for the parents to apply any pressure to coerce their children to do their study.
Role Modeling is a great way to influence the behavior of our children. We, the parents, must first learn and make the correct choices so that our children will imitate. If we want our children to be filial, we must be filial to our parents too. We must look into the mirror and examine ourselves critically to find out whether we are a good son, good daughter, good son-in-law or good daughter-in-law. If we are not, then we must be brave enough to take a decision to correct ourselves, learn from our mistakes and start to do what is right or what is expected of a good person. The principle seemed simple enough that even a four-year old may know about it but it is so difficult to assimilate and execute that even a seventy-year old may not be able to do it properly without determination and efforts.
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