Meet Inmate Anonymous #2087643
At daybreak *Melinda Winters rises from her cot, does a series of stretches to relieve the cramp in her neck, and
after taking care of her personal hygiene, journeys to the cafeteria where she is joined by other inmates eating breakfast and engaging in the latest gossip.
Afterwards, Winters, 36, does what she has done every morning for the past 12 years. She takes out a photo of her
son, Patrick, now 17, and tenderly strokes the frame. Those standing next to her know all too well what will happen
next, because they've seen it all before. The distraught woman will then place the photo back in its hiding place and
quietly began to cry. For Melinda and the rest of the incarcerated moms, life behind bars is almost unbearable because they cannot be with their children.
From the beginning: Melinda's Ordeal
In March of 1993, Melinda was sentenced to 15 years for murder. During her trial she alleged that on the night of
June 24, 1992, her ex-husband, high from a combination of vodka and cocaine attacked her with an ax. In court she
told the jury how he wielded the ax above his head, threatening to kill her. Fearing for her life and that of her 5-year-old son asleep on the couch, she managed to reach into her purse, which contained a large knife. With her ex- screaming "I'm going to kill you, " Melinda rushed toward him, raised the knife and began stabbing him. Within seconds the man collapsed from wounds to his chest and stomach. Unfortunately for Melinda he died within seconds.
After calling 9-1-1 Melinda was arrested and subsequently tried for murder. In court her attorney, (a veteran public defender) argued that her ex-husband had threatened her with an ax and that his client acted in self defense. The prosecution over looked that notion and said that Melinda had deliberately taken the life of a man who posed no "threat" to her. Before sentencing, Melinda asked the judge for leniency, saying, "My son needs his mother." The judge replied, "You should have thought about your son before you stabbed his father to death. "
Despite being behind bars, Melinda has kept in close contact with her son. From the moment she entered *Hadland
Correctional Institute, not a week goes by that she has not written to the young man, now a junior in high school. And unlike other inmates who receive sporadic visits from family members, Melinda's son and mother are frequent visitors. "I'm fortunate that my mother volunteered to take care of Patrick," she says in tones that suggest a mixture of pride and sadness. "So when I went to prison, I didn't have to worry about him going to a foster home and being raised by strangers." According to the Joint Center for Poverty Research (JCPR), when mothers are incarcerated, the children go to live with relatives, usually grandparents. As for the father, only 17% are placed in their sole custody. Unfortunately, kids not placed with relatives are usually placed in foster homes.
Melinda is also grateful that her son does not resent her incarceration, but admits she is skeptical as to whether she
believes him. "My son is a sensitive kid who would not deliberately say anything bad about his mother," she says
tensely. "But sometimes when I'm talking to him I get the feeling that he has a lot of mixed emotions about me being
here. Like he's ashamed of me." With her voice trailing off, Melinda turns and walks toward her cot, trying desperately to retain her composure. "When Patrick graduates next May he's going to send me a picture," she says off handedly. "How about that, my son the college graduate."
In talking with Melinda, I walked away thinking that although she is incarcerated, she has the loving support of
her family. A fact that Celia Bush can only hope for. Bush fits the stereotypical profile of the incarcerated female.
Single, 34, with three children and a high school drop out with no marketable skills. In 2001 she was arrested five
times for prostitution and possession of drugs. Currently, she is serving 5 years for selling cocaine. Unlike Melinda,
Cecelia does not see a light at the end of the tunnel. "My daughters are 13, 11, and 9, and the only time I see them
is during the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas)." When she does see the girls, Cecelia says the visits are far
from amicable. "Although they visit me, I think the only reason they do it is because my sister thinks it's a good
idea. Otherwise, it's out of sight, out of mind," she says starring at the floor. Cecelia says she understands her children's resentment. "My 13-year-old is ashamed of me. Ever since she was 7, all she can remember is me being the talk of the neighborhood and being in and out of jail." Cecelia says those feelings are equally shard by her youngest daughter. "When I look at her I see the hate in her eyes, it's almost as if she's saying mommy how could you do this to me."It is these visits with her kids that causes Cecelia the most grief. "Every time I look in the mirror, I'm looking at a person who in the eyes of the world is damaged goods," she says. Coupled with the kids non-chalant attitude, Cecelia says at times the pain is worse than death. "It's hell being locked up and away from your kids. And as much as I try to tell them how sorry I am that I can't be there for them, you kind of go to pieces when they look you in the eye and say 'Mom it's too little and much too late for apologies." Despite her kids apprehensiveness, Cecelia says she looks forward to seeing them. And at the end of each visit she tells them how much she loves them. Wiping back tears she admits that she ends each visit with six words, "stay strong and stay in school." Celia worries about her daughter's future, but realizes that until her release, she can only hope for the best. "I am paying for my crime," she laments. "It's too bad that my kids have to pay too.
In response to this crisis, advocates have come up with alternative for prisons, that would alleviate the separation
of children from their mothers. In 1993, Congress authorized the National Institution of Corrections to allocate $8 million annually to fund residential mother/children care facilities. However, with such projects failure to receive funding, experts maintain it is all too clear that the plight of incarcerated mothers and their children will remain a problem as long as society fails to understand the significance of this perplexing dilemma when Mommy Is Behind Bars.
