Ten Things I Wish I Knew At Graduation

It is that time of year again when graduates put on those caps and gowns to walk across a stage and receive the paper they had been working towards for 18 years: Graduation. It’s a time when parents rejoice with pride because of what their child has accomplished and 18-year-olds run free in celebration.

Every year around this time I can’t help to look back over my life. Yes, I have regrets, things I wish I had known or advice listened to instead of thinking I knew everything. Don’t you hate when you finally realize that you don’t know everything? I think that stinging truth is probably the hardest part of my day (yes, I come to this realization daily).

So after getting past the depression from looking into my past mistakes (with the help of a bag of cookies) I decided to offer my advice as a graduation gift to all those soon-to-be-on-their-own young adults. Here is the list of things I wish I really knew or would have been told.

1. For those going to college, take it seriously
   Ok, I know it is college. It is supposed to be one long party with sleep in between, right? This attitude will be the end of your college career or at least set you back a few years. The sooner you realize the importance of what you are learning and actually pay attention, the better off you will be. I do not know how many times I say to myself now, “I wish I would have paid more attention in (fill in the blank) class, then I would be so much better at this." You may even think that such and such P.E. class is pointless. Trust me, it’s not. Every class you take will haunt you when you are on your own. Pay attention so you make the right decisions in life.
   Don’t skip class despite how tempting it is. A stupid misconception that some of us always have is we know everything, why do we have to be in class? I will just show up for the tests. I can’t say enough how this is a bad mistake!!! Ok I have gone to lecturing.
2. For those going on with life, take it serious
   For those who are going straight in the working world, my advice is to pursue what you do with all your effort. I can tell you one of the most frustrating things for me is to get out of college and have someone doing the same job at a higher level because they are experienced. You can be that person. Most likely, you will know quickly the value of money. My advice is to save and not party.
3. Learn to use your time, resources wisely
   If you learn this now, your life will be a breeze. The hardest thing about graduating is that you don’t have the nagging parents anymore keeping you organized, managing your time, cleaning up your clothes, etc. I had a friend who was a master at this in college. She had diagramed her day so that every minute was accounted for. Sounds cheesy, I know, but she was a whiz. Believe me, you don’t want to be 30 and all of a sudden realize the importance of this. It is a lot harder to learn with a husband and kids and at an older age.
4. Manage your money
   This is probably the most important advice I can give: DON’T SIGN UP FOR CREDIT CARDS JUST TO GET FREE GIFTS. There, got it out of my system. Did you know credit card companies prey on graduates? You will find you will have a lot of expenses. Credit card companies know this. That is why they will do whatever they can to sign you up at an insanely high interest rate. My advice: stay away from any debt that you can because nothing is worse then trying to start a new career or job and being tied down to debt.
5. Get involved
   Yes, the pep rally sounds cheesy and the club with all the cliques is so not you. Be active. Find a place to get to know people. In the real world, it really is who you know. You need to learn to make friends, to meet new people, to interact outside your safety net. Neither my husband nor I were very assertive and it hurt both of us greatly. You have to have friends, you have to make the most of whatever you do and sometimes that means spending lots of time doing things you never thought you would do. Join an exercise group, etc. Find what your interests are and be involved.
6. Go to church
   Really, the most important advice I can give. Go to church. Why is it that when we left home, we felt like we shouldn’t go to church? Church provides so much. It keeps you close to God. With the amount of new people you will come in contact with and the confusion you might go through, it is important to be close to God and know His will for your life. Churches love college students. They provide support, friendship, etc. If there is not a church near, join the Christian group on campus if you are at college.
7. It’s alright to be scared
   Don’t feel you have to choose a career or path in life immediately to make it in this world. I will let you in on a secret. Most people don’t know what they want to do for the rest of their lives, especially right out of high school. I am 30 years old and I can honestly say this is the first time I have felt joy at a job. I have worked in an advertising agency, been a reporter, taught school, waited tables, etc. You can’t expect to know exactly what you want to do at 18. Don’t be afraid to wait to declare a major or career path.
   My husband is a good example. He had to pick a major his freshman year. He now has a ton of music hours, no degree. He switched majors countless times, went to four different colleges with the hopes of finding better programs and still has not obtained his degree. Don’t waste time taking classes in a major that is not what you want. Of course, he too found the job he is good at and enjoys in the end, but regrets the wasted college hours in a field he is not working in.
8. Don’t live your life like someone will always be there to bail you out
   This is probably the hardest. For eighteen years your parents, teachers, friends have most likely been there to give you help when you need it. I will admit this is a hard one for me. I have always believed someone would take care of me. This is not true. Over $30,000 in student loan debt later, I can tell you that you will have to grow up and face these demons one day by yourself. I also thought my mom would be around forever and if she was still around I know she would be there bailing me out of the messes I get in. She passed away two years ago. I know this is harsh, but it is true. You have to take responsibility for your own actions and life.
9. Love can wait
   When I graduated, I had big naïve plans. I was going to get my degree, get married and live happily ever after. I won’t lie. I was swepted off my feet at the age of 19. Okay, I cringe when I hear that now. Nineteen is too young to make life changing decisions and unfortunately you can’t learn that until you grow up, so just trust me. I love my husband and he was dark, handsome, sweet, cute, amazing, dreamy, etc., but I didn’t realize that I had my whole life to be in love. So if you meet someone soon after you graduate or even before-my advice is to go slow, wait. Don’t give up or lose your dreams because you will always have “what ifs." Wait, take it slow and deal with yourself first.
10. Listen to your parents
    I still cringe at this advice. I know you just did. But your parents have been through a lot of the issues you will face. Listen to them. They can help you not make the same mistakes. They love you and want to support you. And most times, they will be the one you cry on when things do go bad.

I am sure there is a lot more advice you will get during this time. Enjoy your youth, enjoy the endless possibilities. This time will be over in a blink of an eye, so don’t waste a moment. Happy Graduation!!