The law of attraction is just that, a law. It doesn't bend to our will, we must learn to bend to it and learn to work with it. In order to bend with it, we must understand how it works and why. If you're not getting the results you want in your dating and marriage relationships, then it's vital to find out what you're focused on and therefore attracting into your life.

I knew a couple several years ago with marital problems. The wife had grown up in a home where she was neglected. The environment was chaotic for her as a child. This was what she knew to be normal, what she was used to. The man she married had behaviour patterns that closely resembled her dad's less than favourable conduct.

Her first marriage ended badly. As a result of her experience in that marriage, she was determined to find a stable and caring spouse. She got what she wanted in her second spouse. He was rock solid and stable. Unfortunately, she found herself frustrated and troubled several years into their marriage. He was loving and kind, which is what she wanted. She also found him dull and wasn't attracted to him.

She ended up leaving him and the children, he was heartbroken. No surprise here.

There are fundamentals to the law of attraction working effectively in relationships. A key factor is the quality and quantity of the information being used to determine if people are well suited for each other.

For the law of attraction to work in relationships, one needs good information. If at all possible, great information.

Information that is accurate about yourself and the other person being considered as a mate.

The woman I mentioned a few minutes ago didn't have clear and accurate information about herself. She wasn't aware of many of the obstacles she would need to overcome in order to be able to enjoy a fulfilling marriage. She had an unrealistic view of where she was in relation to where she wanted to go in her married life.

It's like she was trying to take a bus ride to Hawaii. You can fly to Hawaii, you can go in a ship or boat, but there is no bus to take you there, no matter what direction you come from.

The law of attraction requires clarity of thought. It also requires the thought to be held in one's mind and meditated upon. In the woman's first marriage, it's quite likely her mind was fixed upon what she didn't want. She didn't want to be under her parents care or lack of good care. She wanted out. She found herself in a relationship that felt normal as opposed to what she wanted, which was healthy. Like attracts like. She ended up marrying an unhealthy man because an unhealthy home environment was what she had been raised in.

In her second marriage she again had her mind focused on escape and chose a man who would not be erratic. Sadly, she found him too predictable, even dull.

The solution lies within her own ability and willingness to find out what she wants and why. Once she has some clarity to these questions, she needs to become the type of person that would attract that ideal type of person into her life.

And that's the most important point regarding the law of attraction. Defining what an ideal mate would be for you, and then tirelessly working to become the type of person you're ideal mate would be attracted to.

Chris Keenan is regularly interviewed on radio and is the founder of - The home of low cost - risk free relationship help. Get your free copy of "How to Prevent Your Relationship From Losing Value" at

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