There’s More To Advising A Grieving Client Than Offering Sound Financial Advice

A Financial Planner’s Calling

By Kenneth W. Stephan

As I take a leisurely walk through the older section of the local cemetery, I am fascinated by the barely legible dates on the weathered headstones. Proceeding up the asphalt pathway, I come to the new section of the cemetery. As I compare the old section with the new, one fact becomes crystal clear: Americans are living longer.

In the next three decades, most baby boomers will reach retirement, causing the over – 65 population to skyrocket. The aging U.S. population will have a huge impact on how financial planners conduct business. The structure and methods used to create a successful long-term relationship will need to change dramatically to accommodate the evolving financial and emotional needs of older clients.

As an advisor working in the senior market, many referrals are individuals who are grieving due to the recent loss of a loved one. The person dealing with grief and recent bereavement require special care. If handled properly, I have found that I can play an instrumental role in the healing process and the client relationship will be strengthened.

Role of the Trusted Advisor

The agonizing process of dealing with financial realities only adds to a grieving client’s sorrow. Often, a surviving spouse must shoulder ongoing family and business commitments. In this situation, the financial advisor must perform many tasks and help the client make important financial decisions quickly. Life insurance policies, investment accounts, trusts, wills, deeds, debts, employee benefits, health care coverage, changes in beneficiaries, Social Security benefits, and budgetary issues are just a few of the major issues that must be addressed.

The confidence and guidance of a trusted financial advisor is particularly crucial at this time, because it is too easy for a grieving client to make costly financial mistakes. This guidance extends beyond financial advice, however. Advisors looking to develop a long-term relationship with a client should be prepared to take on additional responsibilities, including the mental and emotional health of the client.

The Grieving Process

It is a fact that the financial planning community has yet to establish specialized training in bereavement. As a result, most financial advisors, attorneys, life insurance representatives, bank personnel and tax accountants are ill equipped to properly assist a grieving client. There are, however, several steps advisors and financial professionals can take to educate themselves about the grieving process. First, it is helpful to understand the five stages of grief, as described by author Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. If a financial advisor is oblivious to these stages, he cannot fully understand what the client is experiencing.

Five Stages of the Grieving Process

q Denial - The individual is overwhelmed and refuses to accept the loss.

q Anger - The individual resists the loss and expresses his anger by acting out toward family, friends and health care providers.

q Bargaining – The individual attempts to postpone the reality of the loss by pleading for an extension of life or for the chance to “make everything right".

q Depression – This stage is characterized by an emotional void or disinterest in outside matters. The individual finally realizes the full impact of the loss and struggles with the idea of separation.

q Acceptance – The individual comes to terms with the loss and gains a greater perspective on the situation, integrating the loss with his re-engagement in life.

Although the grieving process, which encompasses both psychological and physical signs is necessary and healthy, it can seriously impair your senior client if left unresolved over a long period of time. Recognizing the symptoms of an unhealthy grieving process and taking the appropriate steps may literally save the client and their family.

Advisors should note that the grieving process is individualized and has no time limit. What’s more, individuals do not experience the grieving process in any particular order. Often, when confronting grief, the person will re-address certain stages repeatedly.

Advisor Attributes

Grieving family members struggle with their loss. In many cases they believe their whole life has collapsed. Their anguish, despair, pain, and sorrow may seize much of their purpose and determination in life. Given the emotional turmoil involved, it is my experience that these clients require a special care. A financial advisors attitude, attention, patience, kindness and empathy will convey a level of concern and understanding which are required in order to properly deal with the bereaved clients’ stages.

A Modest Suggestion

As I leave the cemetery, I have a new appreciation for the grieving client. I realize that for the benefit of our society the financial planning industry must take action in its approach to, and understanding of, grieving clients and their families.

The financial planning community should institute a national program that identifies expertise in grief and bereavement.

Identifying professionals in the financial community with the desire and knowledge to work in this area could greatly benefit those in need. This designation would assure those needing guidance would receive advice from a financial advisor certified in the subject of grief and bereavement.

As I near the exit of the cemetery, a memorial that stands above the others piques my interest. Four generations are buried in this mausoleum, dating from 1809 to 1992. At the entrance a large granite plaque displays an insightful quote by Thomas Mann: “A man’s dying is more the survivors’ affair than his own."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Kenneth W. Stephan, RFC, graduated from Thiel College in 1979 with a B.S. degree in economics and business administration. He is a board member with The Equity advisor Group, Inc., a comprehensive financial planning firm in Monroeville, PA. Mr. Stephan is also a registered representative offering

securities through Mutual Service Corporation, a registered investment advisor and member of NASD/SIPC, located in West Palm Beach, Fla.

Visit ken at: www.kwstephan.com

Email: ken@kwstephan.com

Toll Free: 866.745.2070