I saw my husband melt the other day. Men hardly ever melt and my husband is no different. I don’t even think he melted at the birth of our children. It is just not something a lot of men do often. “What made him melt," You ask? Fatherhood. Being one of four boys, my husband never thought having a girl would make such a huge impact.
Our 18-month-old girl had him right where she wanted him. We taught our daughter some few basic baby signs to help us understand what she wanted or needed. Our genius son was talking in full sentences by the time he was one. So we were a little confused when our daughter wasn’t even talking and more frazzled when we could not understand what she wanted. So most of the sign language we taught her had to do with eating. We taught her the sign for more, enough, eat, thank you. Very basic.
Well, a few nights ago, our beautiful, precious girl took her knowledge to a whole new level and made my husband melt. Before bedtime, she will go and kiss her “bubba" and her “dada" to tell them “night." Well, after kissing bubba she went to hug and kiss her daddy. When my husband released her, she looked up at him with those big baby blue eyes and signed more, more. He would have bought her a new car at that moment if he could have. And it was at that moment I saw him in a new light once again.
It got me to thinking how lucky I am to have a husband who is such a good father. I mean, let’s be honest, there are not a lot of good fathers in our society. Everyday, we see horrible news stories and meet women whose husbands left them the first chance they got. The fatherhood role does not always have good examples. Most fathers who do stick around today were absent a good role model growing up and are just trying to do the best they can.
Therefore, I decided to make a list of what makes a good father. A sort of tribute to fathers everywhere (including the one living in my house). So here are my thoughts.
A good father plays with his kids
OK, so this one is easy for my husband. He is a kid trapped in a 30-year old body. But seriously, playtime with dad is so essential even if it is 15 minutes a night. Sometimes I watch as my husband comes in from a day at work exhausted only to see him five minutes later playing basketball, baseball, tickle monster with my kids. Playing is something I struggle with. I can teach my kids all day long, but playing with them sometimes is hard for me. It is something I believe only my husband has perfected. Not to say that men don’t struggle with this as well. I guess what I am trying to say is it only takes a few minutes a night to make a child feel worthy of their father’s attention.
A good father helps with chores
I have to admit this one threw me one day. My husband had picked up our daughter to go change her diaper and one of my friends was in shock. “My husband would not go near a dirty diaper," she exclaimed. This was new to me. My husband changed diapers from the very first moment. He gives our son his bath. He puts our son to sleep. Several times, he is the one to get up in the middle of the night with our baby girl. He helps with dinners, medicines, scrapes and boo-boos.
A good father disciplines
How chaotic would it be if a father just played with the kids and never set limits or consequences? Let’s be real, my son already discounts my threats or punishments. I think it is part of him realizing the difference between boys and girls. It is nice having a father who is not afraid to punish his kids. I think many times I would give in and my husband is right there standing firm teaching my son respect and manners.
A good father gets involved in his kids’ lives
My husband is great at this. He coaches my son’s teams. It takes a tremendous amount of patience and time to coach. My husband has been their coach since the age of three. I am not saying that all fathers need to coach their kids’ teams. I am saying: be involved. If your son has a game, be there. If he has a piano recital, be there. If he is singing on stage or starring in a play, be there. If it is doughnuts with dad at school, take the time to come. Don’t let your kids be the only ones whose father never takes an interest.
A good father protects his kids
Kids need to feel secure. Whether it is killing a bug or driving safely or paying bills, fathers have an essential role to make their kids feel secure. Fathers have to be able to put their kids before their own wants and interests. Some work two jobs, some take on causes, some battle umpires or teacher, but all of it makes their kids feel protected.
A good father talks with his kids
Let’s be honest, hearing how my son shot milk out of his nose at lunch because so and so said booger at the lunch table isn’t the most exciting, intriguing conversation. Fathers need to be able to turn off the TV, computer, etc. and be able to just listen to their kids. It makes them feel important. It also helps you as a parent just be aware of who your kids’ friends are when they are away from you. My husband also does a good job of this and often prompts the conversation with questions about their day.
Being a father isn’t an easy job, but my husband will be the first to say it is the most rewarding thing he has ever done. So this father’s day, honor your dad or husband with the simplest gift- a Thank You! You can add a hug and kiss for an extra bonus!
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