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WARNING: The following commentary is one woman’s introspection, and is NOT meant to vilify the male species. However, if the jock strap fits, wear it proudly guys.
After 10 months of pure bliss, you and your mate are still glowing in the aftermath of romance. Incredibly, you note with satisfaction, that you have the perfect relationship, complete with great sex, stimulating conversation and tons of fun.
Quietly assessing the situation, you think to yourself, “Although things are great, there are things about my handsome Romeo that I would like to change." Then it hits you like a ton of bricks, “If anyone can break my mate of those awful habits like eating like a pig and telling jokes that would bore the dead, it’s me."
Psst, ladies before you spend one more minute thinking of ways to change your significant other, let me remind you of a quote by the legendary astronomer Galielo who said: “You cannot teach a man anything you can only help him to find it within himself. “ Translated, that means IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE A MAN, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY.
For centuries women have come up with a barrage of formulas to change their mates, all to no avail. Hence, the secret to understanding men lies in the concept that they are guided by 12 principles. And they are:
1. He is convinced that he knows everything. And that reminds me, a mule’s head is bigger than a man’s, and they certainly don’t have a monopoly on intelligence. So, chalk one up for the female species.
2. He must prove his manhood at all times. Morning, noon, night, and in-between. Whew! No wonder they’re so confused.
3. He will always think that he is smarter than you are. If you love him, let him think that. We know the real truth, don’t we ladies?
4. He is convinced that women are the weaker sex and the biggest gossips. Have you ever watched a male gossip columnist in action? Picture Ru Paul on steroids. Shall I say more? And speaking of the “weaker sex," have you noticed Serena Williams’ biceps? Tennis anyone?
5. Rarely will he admit that he’s wrong. But they are, and often.
6. He will NOT ask for directions. No matter how many times he gets lost.
7. He will not express his true feelings, especially in the presence of other men. To do so is to be seen as a wimp. And most guys would rather die than be thought of as a Lansy Wansy.
8. He will always maintain some degree of pre-relationship fervor. Moreover, he has to prove that he still has what it takes to attract women, even if he’s 110 and faints at the sight of his own erection.
9. Under no circumstances will he tolerate disrespect in his own home. No, you do not want to go there. But if you have to, make sure your game plan is tight and you can back up everything you say, and then some.
10. He will insist that HE is the boss, even when he is unemployed or a stay-at-home dad who faints at the mention of the word housework. When this happens, remind him that relationships are based on a 50-50 partnership, and he is not the head foreman in charge.
Oh by the way guys, in no way am I implying that being a stay-at-home dad is not a honorable occupation, it is. Hence, my beef is with that segment of the male population who insist on being the boss at any and all costs.
11. Although the words orgasm and satisfaction are embedded in their psyche, men will never admit to being lousy in bed. In the event you complain that your needs are not being met, he will reverse the situation so that you're left wondering who’s right and who’s wrong. Hey no one ever said arguing with a man about his bedroom antics was easy. In fact it’s downright exhausting, especially if he’s convinced he can make a woman drool at the mere site of his Magical Tool.
12. He will never tell you he loves you more than 10 times in front of his friends. So, if he says it twice, you’re lucky indeed.
There you have it, the average MAN in a nutshell. And if you still have the notion to change him, forget it, he already has. Wow! ain’t love grand? You betcha!
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