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Parenting Styles and Social-Emotional Development
Most parents, naturally, want their children to grow up to be socially and emotionally competent. Certainly there is no shortage of "expert" child-rearing advice, from talk shows, how-to books, parents and in-laws, and well-meaning friends. Unfortunately, much of this advice is based on armchair logic rather than solid empirical evidence. However, a good deal of psychological research provides important insights into how different parenting styles affect a child’s social and emotional development. I briefly summarize the evidence here. Research conducted by Stanley Coopersmith (1967) and Diana Baumrind (1971) identified three specific styles of parenting: permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative.
PERMISSIVE PARENTS Permissive parents are inclined not to control their children, preferring instead to adopt a hands-off policy. They make few demands and are reluctant to punish inappropriate behavior. Permissiveness sometimes stems at least in part from the parents’ indifference or preoccupation with other functions. More commonly, however, permissive parents hope that providing their children with plenty of freedom will encourage the development of self-reliance and initiative. Permissive parents will often attempt to be more of a friend to their son or daughter than a parent.
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTS In sharp contrast to the permissive style, authoritarian parents rely on strictly enforced rules as they try to make their children adhere to their standards. Authoritarian parents tend to be autocratic, leaving little room for discussion of alternative points of view and often using punishments to ensure compliance. Authoritarian parents generally direct minimal warmth, nurturance, or communication toward their children.
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTS The third type of parents, authoritative parents, also have definite standards or rules that children are expected to meet. Unlike authoritarian parents, however, they typically solicit their children’s opinions during open discussions and rule-making sessions. Although children understand that certain standards of behavior are expected, they are also encouraged to think independently, and they acquire a sense that their viewpoints carry some weight. Both authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles seek to control children’s behaviors. However, the former tries to achieve this goal through restrictive control without open communication, while the latter establishes reasonable rules in an atmosphere of warmth and open dialogue.
There is convincing evidence that neither the permissive nor the authoritarian parenting styles are conducive to developing social and emotional competence in children. Children of permissive parents tend to be immature, impulsive, dependent on others, and low in self-esteem. Because they have received so little guidance, they are often indecisive in new situations. Children from authoritarian homes may also have difficulty deciding how to behave, because they are worried about their parents’ reactions. Authoritarian-reared children are also less likely to express curiosity and positive emotions, and they tend to have few friends.
It is probably no surprise to you that the most well-adjusted children in these studies tended to be those of authoritative parents. This style of parenting provides a structure reflecting parents’ reasonable expectations and realistic standards within an overall atmosphere of love and trust. Perhaps one of the primary advantages of this style is that it provides children the greatest sense of control over their lives. Their participation in family discussions means that the rules that ultimately emerge have been negotiated, rather than being arbitrarily imposed. Also, since authoritative parents tend to enforce rules with consistent, predictable discipline, children are more likely to acquire a sense of control over the consequences of their actions.
We have seen that parenting styles seem to influence the behaviors children express as they develop. The evidence is of a correlational nature, however, and correlation does not necessarily imply cause and effect. Perhaps authoritatively reared children are more socially and emotionally competent because of the manner in which they have been reared. However, it is also possible that some other characteristic coincidentally associated with authoritative parents may be the key factor. For example, parents who raise children in such a reasonable fashion may also have better relationships with one another thus, their children’s emotional and social development is likely to progress in a healthy fashion free of the stresses imposed by family conflicts.
It has also been suggested that some of Baumrind’s findings could reflect child-to-parent effects rather than parent-to-child effects (Lewis, 1981). Perhaps children who are socially and emotionally well adjusted, for reasons other than parenting practices, may elicit more reasonable, democratic responses from their parents than do children who are less competent and more belligerent.
In all, we cannot conclude with absolute certainty that child-rearing practices influence the social and emotional competence of children. Nevertheless, the evidence certainly indicates a high probability that this is the case.
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