I recently received an email from a friend with a song a man wrote about the time his child spent in the NICU or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. At first, I thought it was a little silly especially since my former preemie of a daughter, now 20 month old, was “beeping" along.
However, it wasn’t long until tears flooded through as memories began to resurface from the ten days that my own baby girl spent in the NICU. The song can be heard here: http://balladtree.com/mp3/premiesong.mp3
I have a lot of friends with babies, preschoolers and many who are pregnant. What has always surprised me is that no matter how many times we share or listen to a woman tell about her pregnancy or what she faced, it fascinates us. My church small group once spent two hours just swapping delivery stories. We all had a lot in common. All of our little ones had rough beginnings with many spending time in the NICU. What I learned is that there is a certain bond there. I survived and you can too, attitude.
So I thought I would share my story of the birth of my beautiful preemie followed by some tips. Those who have been there I am sure will be able to relate. Others it might help just to know some of these tips for your own baby rather they are preemie or not.
My story
The story of how my miracle baby was born still brings tears to my eyes. I never felt that my pregnancy was going well from the beginning. I rationalized it as being a result of working and standing on my feet. At my 20 month ultrasound, I found out I was having a girl, but at that time they were not too concerned with the growth. I did seem to have a low fluid level, but at that time it was not a concern. I spotted continuously but they never could find the cause.
I can’t remember when the low fluid level did finally become a concern. I think it was once they realized again for the second pregnancy in a row that my uterus was not growing. I began having to see the doctor twice a week. One day I would have an ultrasound, then two days later I would have the baby’s heart monitored. My doctor was trying to get me to 36 or 37 weeks before delivery.
I remember going in on the Tuesday for the ultrasound and my tech telling me to not leave until he talked with my doctor. He felt the baby should be delivered that day. My doctor, being distracted, felt it was still OK. But by Thursday of the 35th week, she had changed her mind. When I entered to have the baby monitored, the heartbeat was almost non-existent. I was told to go to the hospital and they would start inducing labor.
The pain was horrible (much worse than the first pregnancy) from the beginning and it was becoming evident to me that something was wrong. When they broke my water, none came out because there was no water in the womb. The baby’s heartbeat was now racing and her oxygen levels were low. It was decided to order a cesarean section to get the baby out as fast as possible.
It was at the delivery that we realized how bad our little girl had been doing inside me. She was born within what seemed a few minutes. The doctor had my husband stand up to see the true knot that was in her umbilical cord. Her pediatrician and a team of nurses were standing by waiting to have to perform CPR assuming the worse.
Our girl never cried at the delivery stage so, as I lay on that table straining to get any glimpse, I knew I had lost her. I kept asking if she was OK and they kept saying that she was-that they were checking her out. I was terrified. We were truly blessed by God. We were so lucky.
She was fine, tiny but, for the most part, fine. They moved her to the NICU at another hospital for ten days, but she never had any trouble. From the autopsy on my placenta and her cord, it was discovered she had a two vessel cord-most babies have three vessels. The majority of babies with two vessel cords tend to have some sort of mental retardation. My placenta was breaking in half so if I would of delivered normally I would have bled out most likely.
Her kidneys and whole body were checked through ultrasound while in the NICU and they never found anything wrong. They thought she had to have some sort of kidney malfunction since the fluid level was so low. Anyhow, my four pound five ounce baby girl was definitely the lucky one in that NICU. Several babies were tinier and hooked to all sorts of breathing treatments, feeding tubes, monitoring devices, etc. Those days will always be remembered.
Preemies or full-term babies, no matter what their condition, require special care when returning home from the hospital. Here is a list of tips to help you survive the initial realization that there is this tiny creature dependent on you.
Relax and don’t be scared
I remember, when we first came home with our preemie, we were terrified. She was so tiny and we thought we might drop her or break her. It was an overreaction. They are small and so precious, but they are also tough things. Your parental instincts will kick in and they will be just fine.
Get to know your NICU staff, doctors or nursery nurses
These are the people that will be there for you through this emotional time and honestly, if your baby is in the NICU, they will be the ones caring for your baby the most. At the hospital where my baby was, parents were required to spend three days in the hospital taking care of the baby through monitored care. So we had the baby in our room for two nights taking care of it and the nurse would periodically check in, teach us things, monitor the weight and so forth. This was a tremendous asset because, to be honest, even bathing a baby that small terrified me. They were able to calm my nerves and get me confident in my abilities before I took her home.
How to comfort older siblings
This was hard for us, because we had for nine months built up to our four-year-old that he was going to have a baby coming home soon. Then to have mom and dad gone for a longer time and no baby at home to show for it, was difficult for him. Allow the older child to visit the NICU and peek through the window if possible. Take pictures and place on the refrigerator. Also take pictures of the older children and place on the baby’s isolette so that your child will see as well.
Ask! Ask! Ask!
Continuously ask the staff how you can be more involved with your baby’s care. Find out what is needed for follow-up care. Be persistent and confident in expressing concerns-it is your child! Be sure and have a notebook handy when calling in for the status of your child or when talking to your doctor so you can document your child’s status.
Latest Innovations
There are a lot of new techniques as well as some old techniques that can really help with your baby’s adjustment. First is Kangaroo Care. Kangaroo Care is skin-to-skin contact between baby and a parent. This can actually be done in the NICU as well. Infant Massage is another calming technique. Infant massage is simply applying a gentle touch to your baby. Ask your nurse to show you some techniques. Finally, breastfeeding, if possible, is essential for your baby. Preemies who have been breast-fed have fewer digestive problems, lower incidences of ear infections, lower incidences of allergies and fewer problems with constipation.
Remember to have those who come in contact with the baby wash their hands frequently. Also knowing infant CPR can be life saving. It is just important to shower your baby with love and everything else will fall into place. Having a new baby is exhausting. Look to find support through friends, family, etc.
Feel free to share your pregnancy stories and tips as well in the comments. I would love to hear them.
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