Being human came with a mind that can beneficially be changed to think in the best, most altruistic way. So much negativity and arguing cannot live up to the life we all want to live..in peace. How can we work on our thoughts and reactions to others? First, we must evaluate what we will drop from our thinking and responding. Does life’s situations overwhelm us at our most vulnerable times?
If something is bothering us, we need to think about how we will approach the situation or person, in the least threatening of ways. Sentences that start with "you should" can certainly be replaced with, "I think it would be nice if you…" "Should" automatically puts others on the defense. It needs to be eliminated from our vocabulary. Once we see that we can cause a good feeling to think before we speak, it will come more naturally.
Little by little, relationships strengthen. If we have learned to be calmer, and less judgmental, chances are others will think and act in a similar way. Another helpful skill is to put ourselves in the place of others and see if there is something we can do to make things easier. What would we appreciate someone saying or doing for us? A single flower can engulf us with love and the calming affect it my have only takes a second to do for someone we love.
If we are thinking negatively, our world is dark and heavy, with no feelings of peace and contentment. The vibrations we give off when we are angry or frustrated, can only create the culmination of the way we feel. In the same way, if we are thinking and reacting in a well balanced, loving way, any situation will result in a calmer and more peaceful outcome. We can create the kind of life we want by understanding the basic make up of people.
Instead of antagonizing a person or situation, we can be kind and helpful to them and their state of being. If we want others around us to be calm, we must make sure our character emanates peace and love. If we drop something and simply clean it up with no obscenities or angst, those who surround us will slowly mimic our thought process, which should be, "How important is it?" Do we act like the world is going to end tomorrow or do we simply realize that doing what we need to do goes a long way if it is handled calmly.
We may also keep in mind that the consequences of our thoughts and actions will dictate the way we come across to others. Do we want to be angry or at odds with someone instead of using that time to enjoy life? Do we listen intently when someone speaks their mind? Do we know how to unobtrusively steer them in a better direction? They don’t even have to know we are doing so, but our happy and light attitude is absorbed by them. They respond in kind. The more we see healthy behavior happening, the easier it is to be in that space.
Some have had so many bad experiences with others and with situations, that they have run themselves down to being angry all the time. Depression sets in and the ability to think clearly and to act appropriately seem to be far in the distance. We can, however, bring it back and change our moods to a happier and more peaceful state. Arguments are going to happen, situations will baffle us, but with the attitude of being kind and giving, we can melt away any negativity.
We can take as much positivity as we need right from nature. A blue sky, birds eating their food on the deck we can see them from, going swimming or boating, playing golf, playing games with the kids, taking pictures of nature, reading a good book, and writing, all can be enjoyed instead of sitting in a world full of darkness. Usually, this darkness comes from the thoughts we are thinking and the actions we are planning. If we turn those thoughts around, and ignore our desire to fight or argue, we have done ourselves and others a great service.