Engagement ring etiquette is oh so important, because your chick
will be retelling the story of all the details related to her
engagement ring and proposal over and over and over....i'm not joking.
Here are some common questions that guys have about engagement ring
etiquette. 1) Who pays for the ring? Sorry guys, but you
are supposed to foot the entire bill. Plus, you can use this as
leverage for the next fifty years when your wife asks you what you've
done for her lately. You can point to her ring and recount the many
hours you toiled saving up for it. If your financial situation sucks,
consider gettting a less expensive ring now and upgrading later or
taking out a loan. Is it fair? No, but life isn't always fair.
2) Must the engagement ring be a surprise or does the bride pick out her own ring? The
ring does not necessarily have to be a surprise. In the past,
engagement ring etiquette dictated that the man choose the ring, and
then presentit if the woman accepted his marriage proposal. Today many
couples purchase the ring together. Or, the woman may drop some hints
about the kind of ring that she wants, so that it is still somewhat of
a surprise. It is always kosher for the groom to present the ring as a
surprise. He may want to enlist the help of her friends or family
members in choosing a ring that she will love and fits with her style.
There is an episode of Sex and the City where the lead character Carrie
comes across the engagement ring that her man is going to give her in
the near future, while he is in the shower. She gets physically ill
when she finds out that it is a pear shaped diamond on a gold band.
Luckily, one of her friends tactfully intervenes to help him out with
the ring purchase. The pear-shaped ring is returned and replaced with
one that is more Carrie-esque. 3) Do I have to call her parents beforehand and ask for their blessing to go ahead and propose? I
would strongly recommend that you do. It is a very classy way to seal
the deal. Her parents will feel respected and it is a good way for you
to begin your relationship with them. After all, they will become
members of your family after the wedding. 4) Does engagement ring etiquette call for me to get down on one knee when I propose? It
is romantic and chivalrous to get down on one knee and propose. If you
don't do it and I wouldn't sweat it too much, but it is a nice touch.
Keep in mind that it is pretty much guaranteed that your woman will be
asked by one of her girlfriends in the aftermath of the proposal if you
did. 5) Who do we tell first about the engagement If you
want to go by the rules of enagement ring etiquette, the bride's
parents are told the news first, followed by the groom's parents.
Whatever you do, don't keep the news from parents, as this will only
start things off on the wrong foot. Close family and friends can be
told soon after, followed by an announcement in the local paper. 6) God forbid one of us breaks off the engagement, what happens to the ring? It
depends on the woman you are dating as well as the state you are living
in. If a woman breaks off the engagement than engagement ring etiquette
dictates that she should promptly return the ring. However if the guy
breaks off the engagement because it's just not meant to be, it's a
little more questionable. Engagement ring etiquette dictates that if
the guy is a gentleman, he may tell the woman to hold onto it,
depending on his financial circumstances. Of course, what woman really
wants to hold onto an engagement ring from a guy who just dumped her.
(This happened to a girl in my sorority and she kept the ring but
turned it into a pendant). However, I think if the engagement is being
broken off because the guy has done something heinous (i.e. cheated on
his fiance with her best friend) than he should let her keep the ring.
The actual laws on returning engagement rings vary from state to state
with some requiring that the ring must be given back because it was a
gift with other states viewing engagement rings as unconditional gifts
that the bride can keep regardless of the circumstances. A friend of
mine ended up going to court over her ring after the engagement was
broken off....yikes!...it's a long complicated story! Hopefully this is
not something that you will have to even consider. The
author recently got married and is wearing a beautiful ascher cut ring.
She and her husband put together a website to help you find the perfect
engagement ring: http://www.ultimate-engagement-ring-guide.com.
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